Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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