I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
