She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
