I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
