Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
