listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im holly from the hills drunk
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
