they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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