It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize