yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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