So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
