No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
