she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
