even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
