pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She bit a glass in half.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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