I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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