maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
