Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
