john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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