Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
