How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
