I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
