I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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