I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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