Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
