Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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