I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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