Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
