Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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