You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
