Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I will be naked everywhere
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my poor anus
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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