I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
