My room smells like vodka and shame
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
