I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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