Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
