Kiss
Puke
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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