Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
