Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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