these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's never too late to be topless.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
