How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
