just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
