Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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