so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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