I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Someone shit on the floor
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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