home. puking in laundry basket.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she peed on how many people?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
