Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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