The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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