please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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