Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
