nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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