He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
