he wants to bone in the snuggie
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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