New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
