The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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