my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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