Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize