I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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