The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
