Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
