with your own penis?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
