when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
