But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We had to coat check the pizza.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
