none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
