I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize