I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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