It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
