It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
