Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
