Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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