My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
